Autobiography final draft

Jungim, Lee

LA 108: Composition For the Artist
Final Draft: My Autobiography
November 7, 2013
Robert Tindall

The Purpose of My Life

Why am I here? Why was I born? There is no doubt that everyone will die eventually at the end of the day. I am curious why I must be alive, and my life will be done someday like other people in this world. My heartbeat will stop, and my body temperature will be colder and colder. When I think of birth and death, I usually imagine an unlimited space in which I recognize myself as one, which a tiny and small being in that gigantic universe. I try hard myself to discover what events are happening in my imagination. Interestingly, the imaginary world always describe me flying up in the air, which makes feel scared, only because my body gets smaller and smaller, and disappears into the place which is nowhere to be founded. When I am scared in my imaginary world, I am murmuring myself like “who brought me here?”, “why I should die at the end of my life?”, and “why I was born although I will be gone eventually?” I could not sleep when I start thinking of those questions. My first day of these kinds of bitter whispers to myself has begun when I was at the age of 15.


I was born in 1988. When I was a little child, I had six members of my family. My parents seemed to be busy in order to make living expenses. Needless to say, my family did not become my good listeners. I quickly found that I enjoyed scribbling on any surface. Although my drawings were of no significance, I drew without goals; I can say that I was happy. One day, near the end of the primary school, my sense of art’s potential transformed when I met my best friend. Before, I was satisfied with my scribbling. After I met her, I wanted to draw as skillfully as her. Her drawings were all impressive. She was only 12. Her eyes lit up when she drew, and even when she talked about drawing. She was very serious about art. I dreamed of becoming like her. I loved her as my best friend. She encouraged me to develop my skills although we were little girls. She always said she needed a more attractive style of drawing. I usually accepted her thoughts without any objections. One day, she shared with me how she thought about her drawing style. I think this was her manifesto: to pursue her own style in order to be unique. After she shared her idea, I began to rethink my artistic goals. I began to pursue my own drawing style. 


Throughout my youth, I thought her manifesto was right. I saw so many people who could draw well, but they had not found their own style yet. They knew the principle of how to draw and also had learned some techniques. I did not respect their art because they did not consider style as deeply as I did.  As time went by, however, I found her manifesto was different from my own. I started to like both realistic drawing and stylistic drawing. I wanted to recreate the look of a three dimensional object on a two dimensional paper. I liked the professional look created by the use of perspective principles. I could apply the rules of perspective to anything. For example, when I walk in the hallway, I can see invisible lines towards the vanishing point, or when I sit in the back of the bus, I can see the same lines. Recently, I have become interested again in using perspective. 

 
As studied art more and more, I could appreciate a wide spectrum of artistic approaches. I stopped believing her manifesto was the greatest one in the world. In general, I found that if I learned more information about the art, I could appreciate it. My own belief about art is that everything can be a masterpiece. To me, a masterpiece is something beautiful. I can see the beauty in war, poverty, nature, love, a fight, dirt, child’s sketchbook, and even emptiness. In this light, style ceases to be of great importance. When creating an art piece, I primarily consider how to effectively express my feelings on two-dimensional stage, and I do not care about drawing style anymore. I consider it most important in art to have a conscious purpose, understanding the beauty of everything, and expressing a feeling through the art. I only want to share my thoughts through my drawings so that they can be universally understood. 


During my college life, I have focused on many graphic software programs and more on creativity. Learning these programs was something new to me. It took me a while to adapt to using the computer to create art. But I began to be worried about my future. I found I needed to learn so many things to get a good job. I was discouraged when I saw talented classmates who could make anything great. They looked like they could get a job at a famous company. I was scared of my future, so with some difficulty, I decided to attempt to earn a bachelors degree in art at an American university. I believed that the degree I would earn would help my future easier. It was naive of me to think like that. Despite this foolish decision, I saw many interesting things, made friends with people in another country, and worked on my major devotedly at least for one semester at the Academy Art of University. I have never regretted my decision.


I have faced various problems and difficulties. At one point, I was depressed that I was not achieving my goal fast enough. I often complained about my life; why is it so hard for my dream to come true? I was tired of dreaming. I got used to ignoring the questions I asked in my youth. However, now I have found the answer. “I will do what I want to do.” My spirit is purposeful and this is the reason that I am alive. I do not know why I am here and why I was born, but I will try to do what I love no matter what challenges I face.